Roar, Glory and Gore

Have you ever forgotten who you are? Well, I did, unfortunately... I've let myself go growing in the wrong direction... But like any good gardner I've mend myself...well not entirely...not yet... You see life is like a plant...you can make it grow in the direction you want but only if you take proper care of it.
I've finally remembered who I really am, and this time I will take more care of my plant... Spring is the perfect time for rebirth...

I've always considered the city a jungle...a wild and dangerous jungle...where every step can be your last one...a very tangled one... And thus our life becomes tangled up between the lifes of others...we must be carefull in what we get tangled...cause untangling is often hard and can damage our roots...
The jungle is inescapable...uprooting is dangerous for any plant...
But to be noticed by who matters you have to grow, and grow brilliantly!

Jungles are the birth place of war...I stand by my statement(though I know it's the ocean, but that won't work in this metaphor, so bear with me a bit), we battle for survival even more than millions of years ago...only the battle moved in our collective minds...it's even more savage and dangerous...but where there's gore...glory comes...and we must be those who get the glory!

Take charge of your jungle! Roar your faith! Fight for your glory!

"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything"


"And the cry goes out (ha)

They lose their minds for us, and how it plays out (ha)
Now we're in the ring and we're coming for blood

(Oh! Oh!)
You could try and take us (oh-oh)
But we're the gladiators (Oh! Oh!)
Everyone a rager (oh-oh)
But secretly they're saviors
Glory and gore go hand in hand
That's why we're making headlines (Oh! Oh!)
You could try and take us (oh-oh)
But victory's contagious"

I`ve finally remembered how to write...It`s been a while...

The songs from this post are Roar - Katy Perry and Glory and Gore - Lorde.

The pic is just my potato with a bowtie!

Roar!

When I Grow Up The World Is Not Enough...

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you where a kid? All the "when I grow up I`m gonna be..." crap...it`s cute...but ultimately just a few of us do it. I`m not saying it`s a bad thing, we have no idea what life means when you are a kid...and we stay kids for a lot of time...some of us probably are in our mid 20`s and still have the same thought process from kindergarten, it`s not until you hit "The Great Wall of Real Life" you even consider something is not right. And there is still the denial state, when we say "neah, I think like an adult, I`m an adult", well...NO...the adult thought process starts working very slowly and hard...but we get there...somehow...we don`t even realize we killed off our inner-kid(or at best put him in a dungeon where he will start hating the adult you) and when we do...it`s too late...


But being an adult is not that bad...you get to have the illusion you do the right thing, the "This is what`s best for me now..." idea comes...we may even be right... But as time goes by us...we start to think more and more on what have we done by now, "The what have I done with my life" problem comes in, and it`s an equal part god and bad dilemma for us, it can be constructive and at the same time be distructive for us...

When we grow up the concept of "I`m great now, buuuut I still want more" comes to us...We can never be truly happy, yes we do have happy moments...but that`s it...as soon as we solve a problem we find another one...I agree that conflict drives us to get better...but should we let our selfs be driven be our nature or should we let us be happy for once...Truly happy...
Make yourself a favor and do something that makes you happy...

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you also annoyed when people don`t do what they said they would? Oh, I`m not talking about big things like promising the moon and the stars, I`m talking about shit like calling back or just fucking answering a bloody text!
And it fucking bugs me that I can`t always tell these assholes the same fucking thing over and over again! It`s like talking with a wall... Don`t get me wrong I love these bastards to death(my friends) but is it really that hard to do the small things(that stop me from wanting to put a bullet in their dumbass faces)?
All the small things are so big!
And I fucking hate them some times, but that's the reason I love them...I just want to put my hands around their necks...I mean them and squeeze thigh! ;)
Oh and I've noticed I'm not mature yet, yes I don't consider myself a adult....but I know I've reached a point in my life where I can say I like someone without being shitfaced...yes until now I had to be shitfaced to tell someone I like them(Romantically speaking) I guess I was romantically challenged...well I still am I otherwise...but it's a start!
Alcohol helps...and no I don't drink daly,but I believe it's a great kickstarter! Unless you have a problem with it...which I don't.
Yes...life is full of " are you fucking kidding me?!" moments...but that's a part of it's beauty...I guess...
I'm not an adult yet...but that is ok...I'll get there...one day... I'm growing strong...
So...let's get shitfaced together and see what happens!
Don't forget to sing Soft kitty to me!

Sober...Sleeping Monster...

Have you ever been so sober that you thought of everything you ever done and everyone you ever met? And thought of everything? But the you asked yourself...what is next...who is next...how is next? Next to what...next to who...next? You know that thought...that dosen't let you close your eyes properly and keeps you awake at night... Have you been a good person...have you done the right thing...have you meet the right person...have you said no to much?
And have you ever thought of all the times you would feel that no one loves you? But how much do you love yourself? I can't say i completely love myself...and I'm not saying I don't judge people for not loving my more...but I think it's time to love myself more...
Yes...sobering time is never easy or painless...and the more time we spend in Wonderland, oblivious of reality...the more painful the sobering up will be...

But pain is growing...and with every scar we grow more stronger... Some scars are deeper than they appear to be, but we must face it when the time comes...

Their is a monster inside us...that sleeps...and awaits for the most unfortunate moment to rise and break out balance...(I'm not done talking about this sleeping monster yet... )

"Infections are like sleeping monsters. You can’t see them, you can’t feel them but you must do everything in your power to contain them. Because when the monsters wake up, they’re out of control.
…
All that time you spent telling yourself the sleeping monster wasn’t real, it was gathering strength. The infection was spreading. The monster’s awake now and there’s nothing you can do about it." - Miranda Bailey (Season9, Ep.21-Sleeping Monster)

I'm not talking about the sobering up from dear sweet alchool...we still love our dear sweet loyal friend the alchool... 
So...cheers...to sober us...

Outcast...

Yep, my cat sleeps in the bathtub...

Hey...I don't know it you know...but there is a show on Fox...it's called Glee...and recently they sang a original song...witch has kinda touched me...it's called Outcast... It's really optimistic...and it gives me a special kind of energy...you should listen to it... I've put the link below...

I don't know if you have ever felt like a outcast...or if you had your outcast group...it's a special feeling(well at first it sucks cause you don't know how good you're having it...but after some years, 6 or 7 give or take, you find your joy) it's a very freeing feeling...cause you know when your already a outcast you don't have to impress anyone(yep...after that maturing period of 6 to 10 years) but I'm telling you...never put yourself down for being special..."I'd better be outrageous than just an old clisee, I' rather be a rainbow than just another shade of gray"...so be your rainbow(and i don't mean gay...not necessarily...just gay as in happy...but be ...it's great...after a couple of years of course:))) 
                                                                     Sheldon style 
Well the idea behind this really is be yourself(even though a lot of people said that already I'm here to say it again and again until it gets in our thick dumb-ass ever growing minds), and don't forget to sing soft kitty once in awhile...

My cup..




PS:I've began writing some fiction, I'm not sure what I want to do with it but I will want to share it with you...just as I get at least half of it done...
And of course I do not own any of the videos embeded in this blog...they are only for viewing purposes only...have fun ;)
.

Everybody wants to rule the world...

What do we really want from life? Have you ever  thought about that? Well...I have...a lot. And really I am ashamed to say I have no clue... You see I still am not sure how to live my life or why... 
Well not really...I have some guide lines... But I still am very confused...
I was never the certain one...yet I always tried...and tried to find a Purpose, a reason, a sign even...
Yes, I want to love and be loved , want a carrier, I want some stability in my life...
I never had much stability as far as I can tell...though is the thing I have craved for a long time... To be stable with someone...a partner... To have a place to call home... My home... Not a house...I have that...a house is where you live...a home is where you are happy and you know you belong...
I know I'm probably ranting again...but life is always toying with us... She gives you a cookie...and then she takes it back and kicks you in the nuts... Well life is a woman...or at least it thinks like one... One moment she kicks you in the nuts the other she asks what is wrong and gives you a hug...so unstable...
The other day I was having a late at night walk in the park with my sister and she asked my "what do you want to do in life"...for a couple of moments I had no idea what to say...then I thought of writing... Well the fact is our passions or ideas change in life...for example when I was 7 I wanted to be a paleontologist(dinosaur expert) and after that I wanted to be a doctor and after that a pharmacologist, I even thought of being a baker...

The thing is to find what you want in life and take it(or do it) before it is to late...you might say it's never to late...but you would be so wrong...
So let us rule the world or at least...our world...

Wild Young Hearts...

"

"I'm not what I was last summer

Not who I was in the spring

Tell me, tell me, tell me when will we learn

We love it and we leave it and we watch it burn

 Damn these wild young hearts"

Wild young hearts- Noisettes

Change... It's always around the corner, it never forgives and never forgets, but sometimes, it is the best thing that could ever happen to us... It's what drives us forward on our paths...

"Every cell in the human body regenerates, on average, every seven years. Like snakes, in our own way, we shed our skin. Biologically we’re brand new people. We may look the same, we probably do. The change isn’t visible, at least not on must of us but were all changed completed forever.

…

When we say things like, “People don’t change.” It drives scientists crazy because change is literally the only constant. Energy, matter, it’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting them be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this life time is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change, that is up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it. It can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment, we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment we can be born all over again."

- Meredith Grey (Season7, Ep.1-With You I’m Born Again)

A couple of days ago I happen to find my old diary from when I was 17, I almost laughed my ass off... The silly things I was thinking at that age... Yes, change is brilliant sometimes... I know my road is not even half way through...but a small light would be appreciated...


Well...long story short...change is not something we always want or need, but it's there...waiting for us, good or evil,in good times or in bad times It's coming for you...it's your choice if you want to be prepared or not...

I Don`t Care...It`s Time...Now!!!

Now...i know i haven`t written anything from the beginning of the month(well, ok last year...but it`t not relly that far away) but the time has come for me to say some things...
Have you ever felt fed up with all the crap life and your friends have thrown at you? Well I have... I really am sick and tired of always feeling sick and tired...and although i know it is partially my fault...I mostly blame them...like any sane person would do...
You could say...well maybe you didn't try hard enough...well...no...i call bs on that...seriously I did all I could do considering all...
I honestly am not sure they know I'm fed up but I really can't care...dark ant twisty me is on the run now...no more bright and shiny idiot that I've always been...no more mister nice guy...just no more...
It's time to think I'm more important...it's god damn time to do myself a favor and be my own best friend for a change...
I've probably said this before...but this time I'm gonna stick to it!
I've never truly changed...I'm still myself...just a slightly less ok with the crap life and my friends give me...
Now...I'm not condemning anyone...I just want Them to see me for myself...
"It's time to begin, isn't it?
I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit
I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
 That I'm never changing who I am"
"I don’t care what you think as long as it’s about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery
Said I don’t care what you think as long as it’s about me
The best of us can find happiness in misery"

"Feels like I’m waking from the dead
and everyone’s been waiting on me
At least now I never have to wonder
what it’s like to sleep a year away.
But we were indestructible,
I thought we could brave it all…
I never thought what could take me out was hiding down below
Lost the battle… win the war
Bringing my sinking ship back to the shore
Starting over… we’ll head back in!
There’s a time and a place to die but this ain’t it!"

I know,I`ve gotten a bit lazy in the end...but honestly I cant`n see what else to add...the lyrics speak for me...
I hope you guys learned something from this...
Alons-Y!!!


PS: The songs i`ve used for this one are:
Paramore- "Now"
Fall Out Boy "I Don`t Care"
Imagine Dragons "It`s Time"
PS2: The photo is called "Pokerface Snowman" I think it fits...

Allons-y!!!

Oh...what a year... Full of ups and downs...full of revelations...
I guess you noticed that the title of this story is not a song but is something dear to me(Doctor Who for those who wore just born), but both the title and the photo are related...just hold on to me... So...Allons-y!
The year that is about to end was a very interesting one me...with it`s good parts and god damn awful parts but a year in witch i have learned a lot from...and I`ve been hurt a lot..but mostly learn from it...
I have had revelations about myself , about the world and about the idea of "frendship"(yes, the "forever alone" me was super exited)...
I won`t get into details about the train wreck that was my year(and my life)....but i have come to the conclusion my road is still under construction...
So I say to you all Allons-y dans 2013!!!
All for the better! ;)

What`s This?

Sincer azi ma gandeam sa scriu un articol cu totul diferit(se numea Time To Pretend?!, care poate va vedea lumina monitorului in curand si el) dar extraordinara bucurie m-a lovit din cel, literalmente(NIIIINGEEEEE!!!)si tot ce pot spune ca cu toate prostiile pe care le am in cap acum(grimm grimm things...) cand ninge nu pot sa nu fiu extaziat ca un copil retardat  de 5 ani imi uit orice idee si ma uit la cer si doar zambesc...
Este un lucru pe care il fac de cand ma stiu... De fapt am si iesit in strada sa observ mai indeaproape fulgii de zapada, sa simt cum cad pe mine si ma stau in ninsoare...e ceea ce presupun ca vreau sa zic aici... Am si pus poze pe facebook(desi cred ca e cam redundant, avand in vedere ca e plin facebook-ul de poze cu ninsoare si statusuri ) dar nu am facut-o pentru altii ci pentru mine sa imi aduc aminte de bucuria pe care am simtit-o.
Sunt putine lucruri pe lumea asta care imi dau o asemenea stare de "pot sa fac orice" sau "sunt pe culmile lumii"...
Cu toate ca aveam mult mai multe ideei in cap(dar s-au dus departe in timp ce eu ma uit pe geam si ma gandesc sa mai ies o data in ninsoare) va las cu ideea sa ascultati "What`s This?" de pe soundtrack-ul Nightmare Before Chistmas(sau preferatul meu"Kidnap The Sandy Claws")...
Seara Minunata!!!
P.S.: Stiu ca poza nu e de anul acesta, dar nu am reusit sa fac poze interesante inca...

Cosmic Love and Rabbit Heart...

Now if I really think of it...I have never been in love with someone...or if i had been i`ve been with the wrong person...but is there a wrong person to be in love with? Well...most likely YES!!! Not that there is something wrong with being in love but the thing that makes it bad...or not quite bad but really really unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe(in your terms wrong) is if that love is just in your heart and mind... Yes...falling for the wrong person...or just falling for that person at a bad time(bad timing is olso bad )...or just liking someone like a 5th grade dumb little girl can make you feel Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe(WRONG!!! or just plain stupid)...or the best way to say it is : ORDINARY...that is just wrong...you feel like you have fallen in this bad state of mind(
"The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
 In the shadow of your heart" as Florance and the Machine brilliantly put it... ).
The thing is...I`ve been hurt by no love or by my stupidity, in bouth cases my fault...or is it? I know I should not think about this because other people have been hurt WAAAAAAAAAAAY more then i was or probably will be(hopefully), but IT still hurt and I still can feel some of the burns...even if they seem stupid in someone elses eyes they still sting or need a stitch or just a warm cup of coffee and a hug...
I don`t still have feelings for my past, I just have a memory of it...the whole experience until now sometimes hurts and leaves hopeless..."And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became".
But...then I think"I must become a lion hearted guy, ready for a fight"...
Because love is a gift and it comes with a price...That`s life you know...a constant battle... You MUST BE BRAVE and deal with it... I think that when we wore born we made a deal with Death: to do the best we can at finding our loved one...She is very good to us,She gives us all the time we need, we keep Her from doing Her job(to take us from this existence)... Sometimes She looses her patience, sometimes She just looks into the future(and sees no hope), sometimes She is just bored...BUT sometimes WE don`t keep our end of the deal and waste our Time here...that makes Her angry and punishes us...by making us lonely...
Well...maybe I`m wrong about that(I hope)...
"The looking glass so shiny and new
How quickly the glamor fades
I start spinning slipping out of time
Was that the wrong pill to take (Raise it up)
You made a deal and now it seems you have to offer up
 But will it ever be enough?"

The Point of this rant: It`s ok to feel "trapped in the darkness of your soul" but at the same time WE MUST remember to be brave and keep our lion heart open to hope... So...Dark and twisty or bright and shiny? Why not both?

Hello, Words, Carry on my wayword son...

Words...it's how we communicate... They make up our language... They make up sentenses... They make sense...
But what happens when words stop making sense? Do we louse our sense? Or we just louse our communications skills? We can communicate non-verbaly but only for simple tasks...
Do the words we think and say change who we are? Or do they just change the perception  people get from us?
Is it possible for people to even change? When we think we changed is it just a perception of ours? That would mean our self-awareness is the one that changes... But that still implies a change in our patterns...
So...what changes?
When we say to someone that they have changed...is it them? Or is it the dynamics of our relationship? In that case...it still our perception of them... Should we even believe that people can change then?
Why should we not? Our life is full of change... Of course...not all change is in our benefit... But should we dislike change for that? Should we embrace change?
I can only say change is in our blood... Blood is keeping us alive...so...trust your blood...
Any good doctor would say...never trust your blood...it may be wrong...
But... What should we do when people change and we cling to the idea that it's gonna be ok? Should their change change us? Or should we just hope that the change won't be that bad as we think?
 So should we just carry on regardless of any change? Or should we take some time to understand what is happening? I for one never have a good grip on reality... Because let's face IT reality may suck...and not in the good way...
Yes...you may argue that we should embrace reality...we live in it for fuck sake...but did anything good ever came from reality? I think not...but who am I to say that? Well just a speck of dirt in all the cosmos... Still I am aware of myself...I have opinions...i have doubts...I have fears...should that count for something? I don't know... But I am sure that we should fine some sense in existing... But what is that? Wayyyyy toooo many questions I say...
So...back to change... Do we get over the fact that our friends and loved one change and should this change our relationship with them?
You tell me... Because sometimes change makes us feel so alone...but change can make us feel a part of something...
Good? Bad? Change is the dynamic of our universe...or is it a circle? We have not found out yet...
What we know might be enough...
PS: The songs in the title are: Hello-Karmin , Words-Kate Miller-Heidke and Carry on my wayword son-Kansas. You should listen to them while or after you read...

Monster...

"When you're little, night time is scary because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. When you get older, the monsters, are different... self doubt, loneliness, regret... and though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark."(Meredith Grey, In the midnight hour, Grey`s Anatomy season 5 episode 9)

Yes, the night is scary and in the night time we make our worst decisions, even though we(humans as a species) were originally nocturnal creatures...

Why are we so afraid? How come in the century in which we have soooo much technology we still have monsters? Of course technology never helped anyone with fear...especially with monsters like self doubt, they can only be killed by our instinct and our inner-selfs...
Yes, doubt is a horrible monster, we think just because we get wiser we can leave doubt behind but no...older and wiser is no help at all...
But doubt is not our only modern monster, modern monsters are hard to define and even harder to banish, although monsters can shape us into better people if we know how to deal with them, you don`t have to slay them to be able to manage them...
I sometimes can`t deal with my monsters and sometimes i get overwhelmed by them...self-doubt, lack of control or just fear...I just want to scream and make it all go away...but that would never help, neither would  panic help...I just have to find my inner-balance , my inner-light , my salvation...from all the monsters in my closet...
 I sometimes dream of a world without fear, where I am the Master of my world ,monster-free world...I hope to live in that world, not that I`m a sunshine person, but sometimes I like some butterflies...
Until we find a way to manage our monsters we have to lear to get some sleep, sleep is what charges our batteries and we need energy to fight the next day... Yes, one day at a time...one step at a time...
"Sleep. It's the easiest thing to do. You just... close your eyes. But for so many of us, sleep seems out of our grasp. We want it, but, we don't know how to get it. But once we face our demons, face our fears, and turn to each other for help, night time is not so scary, because we realize, we are not all alone in the dark." (Meredith Grey, In the midnight hour, Grey`s Anatomy season 5 episode 9)

Everything at Once

Nu stiu despre voi dar eu ma uit la muuulte seriale...si inevitabil sunt multe personaje din acele seriale pe care la ador sau in care ma vad sau in care as vrea sa ma vad...ceea ce e un pic ciudat(din punctul meu de vedere)ca majoritatea sunt tipe...
Well...daca stai sa te gandesti sunt destul de putine seriale in care actiunea se petrece in mare parte in mijlocul unui personaj masculin(ma rog...cel putin nu la serialele la care ma uit eu).
Voi incepe cu un personaj in care m.am vazut in trecut si in care as vrea(cred)sa ma vad . Este vorba despre Meredith Grey din Grey's Anatomy(one of my fav). Stilul in care isi exprima ideile si pasiunea ei sunt dea dreptul de invidiat...chiar imi place her dark and twisty side...si chiar mi.ar placea ca Shonda Rhimes(producatoarea serialului)sa ne.o arate in perioada ei Deth&Die(fanii serialului o sa inteleaga).
Christina Young e inca un personaj din Grey's care ma fascineaza, modul ei de a vedea lumea este intr.un fel de admirat.
Din serialele care nu vor mai aparea pe tub decat ca reluari as putea sa il mentionez pe Gregory House, sarcasmul si inteligenta lui sunt foarte tari...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan din Bones ma fascineaza prin inteligenta si stilul ei de a relationa cu alti oameni, ai crede ca un antopolog de runume ar avea some basic people skills...dar personajul este tot fascinant...
Sheldon Cooper din The Big Bang Theory m-a fascinat din prima scena in care l-am vazut, foarte greu de caracterizat, dar are acel ceva care te face sa ii zbori creierul cu un revolver dar si sa il iei in brate(desi nu ar aprecia acest lucru) in acelasi timp.
Trebuie sa o mentionez si pe Pam De Beaufort din True Blood, care te fascineaza(stiu folosesc prea mult cuvantul asta) prin sarcasmul si glumele ei precum si prin agresivitatea ei...
De Game of Thrones din pacate nu ma leg din cauza ca e posibil sa nu mai termin(clar recomand serialul) pentru ca sunt mult prea multe personaje pe care le ador...
Hm...cred ca ar trebui sa va fac o lista de seriale la care sa va uitati...le pun in ordine alfabetica, deci nu e un top...
1.2 Broke Girls
2.American Dad!
3.American Horror Story
4.Anger Management
5.Bones
6.Cougar Town
7.Dexter
8.Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23
9.Family Guy
10.Futurama
11.Game of Thrones
12. Glee
13.Grey's Anatomy
14.How I Met Your Mother
15.Merlin
16.Modern Family
17.New Girl
18.Nurse Jackie
19.Once Upon a Time
20.Private Practice
21.Revenge
22.Star Wars: The Clone Wars
23.Suburgatory
24.Supernatural
25.The Big Bang Theory
26.The Borgias
27.The Simpsons
28.True Blood
29.Vampire Diaries
Toate serialele de mai sus sunt actuale...so puteti sa va uitati...
Chiar habar nu mai am de unde am pornit cu ideea...asa ca mai bine zic O zi buna! si va las :D

Dream a little dream of me II...

This post is a Part II from April...you should read that first.... Ok...so...what do you do when Life gives you your Prince Charming...well... you try very very hard not to fuck everything up...you try hard to see if he/she is really your White Horse...you try to sync with him/her...and you try hard not to fuck everything up... Sure...maybe you think it will be easy...but even Prince Charming can get tired of you if you're a dumbass like me... I get upset over the dumbest things...and sometimes I get upset, but I have NO idea why...and you seriously can't say that without people thinking you are insane or PMS-ing! The good part(I hope) is I'm a attention whore and you can simply calm me down with a hug(but beware: it only works on people i LIKE and on small "infractions"). I guess I can be catalogued as a class III dumbass sometimes...because i don't get some things or I'm capable of taking things for granted(and by my ideas it's category IV dumbass behaviour!!! ) . My only plan for this is: Try Not To Fuck Things Up You Dumbass!!! Well...I see I`ve began to rant again... i should just stay as happy as I am now and stop thinking... But more important...STOP fighting happyness!!!Yes...that should be the point of this post...Stay happy and BE AT YOUR BEST!!!

Sway...

I've always wondered if the Greek mithology was right and all of our Faiths wore already quilted long before we wore born... If this is in fact true I really think that the worst faith a person can have is know his own destiny or even have a peek into his future...good or bad...tragic or great...non the less it would be awfull to know...
I think the univers has It's own tabs on us...and when It takes something from us It gives something else back...even if the trade is not fair...It never leaves you with a empty hand of cards...because if You think about it...life is some sort of a gamble...and "God" is the House...and as we all know...The House never louses...one way or the other It will WIN! We might get our small victory...sometimes...
I don't think this is a bad thing...because to understand a victory...you must louse...and that at least a few times...depending on your personality... None of us learns anything form a victory(even if we enjoy it)...we must sway betwen our defeats to savor the victory!
Life, if you want , can be a dance, we sway with our family, we sway with our friends, we sway with our rivals...and in the end everybody sways with Death...that is the final Dance...our swan song Dance(if you may)...a Dance that we should prefer not to know the next step to a song we must(for our own sakes) not know the next beat.
P.S.: My laptop broke down...so if there are any type-o's or spelling errors...sorry... Hope you like this one, I've put a lot of heart into it... And the image is a part of the lyrics from Shelly Fraley's "Sway"...you should listen to it at least once...it is awesome!

Suddenly I See...

"I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you would say "Say when!" My aunt would say "Say when!" and of course, we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better."

(opening quote)

As you may very well know I`m a huge Grey`s Anatomy Fan, adn since "Suddenly I See" is the song that came in my head this time,I thought that it would be a shame not to share this Grey`s quotes with you...
Yes, I totally agree, because it`s in our nature to want more, more love, more money, more knowledge,more tequila, more life, more time...just more...
We think just because we get more that It will be better...well I don`t think that`s the case with most of the things that Life throws at us, we should know our limits...we should know when to say "When"...but in most cases we never do...
Well, I think the quotes rap up all i needed to say..."when"

"There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more."

(ending quote Season 2 ep 2)

Je ne veux pas travailler...

Well i think that this song is one of the reasons I just can`t give up smoking, well that and because i`m just a lazy and addictive person...but every time I hear this song i just want to smoke...
This song is just brilliant, it gives me a strange feeling that I can do anything, but i just don`t have to move...because everything is at my feet. It also helps me forget shit that trouble me and i just can`t get out of my head...it really does help.
Edith Piaf is one of the few french singers that i admire and give a fuck about her songs and lyrics, because honestly i just don`t have any giveafuckness(yes, that is a word!!!) for the others, but She is(well was, but stil is) fucking brilliant!!!
Her song have pain, happiness and sometimes the lack of giveafuckness inside of them that make you get inside her head, Her brilliant, mindfucking genius mind!!!!
Another song that just gives me the goosebumps when i listen to it is Mon Dieu(My God) and my God to bad i was single when i first heard it because I just had a complete mindfuck!!!
Now back to my original idea, you see I just love that song...don`t get me wrong, i like working adn thaking lunch, but that song just makes my giveafuckness level a kick to the minus...
So whenever you just don`t want to give a fuck I really do recommend this song!!!
Long live the lack of giveafuckness!!!

Spectrum...

I don't know about you folks, but I sometime stop and think of my life...I mean of my big-ass mess...because I see the 5 past years of it as a wide array of dumb luck to down right retarded choices...of course there have been time when I would consider if I was in a very very very very good dream, but those time are few and never lasted for more than a month at best...
I really cant say I didn't learn a lot and I do consider that we learn more from our mistakes and bad luck than from anything else...but I really think it's time I would take a long vacation from "school"...
Sometimes it's so hard to find meaning in life...I think I would give heaven up if I could find the key to living...because I do think life needs meaning...and I need a good reason to pump blood into my arteries...
I don't think life keeps a score...but if she does(and yes life's a chick, only women are this passive-agressive!)She ows me! Big time!

Well...I don't know about you but i have two personas, Mr.Brightside (the positive one that is always optimistic, a regular sunshine pussy that eats flowers and shits rainbows), a real idiot and Mr. Don't(he's the realistic one), he saved me from a lot of shit in my days...
And as you know all personas are either the one in charge or the one that just pops up from time to time...and i guess I'm lucky Mr. don't is the one ordering things up in there! What can I say I`m a regular Wednesday, except for the lofe of creepy-crawlies and real pain to me...
I always wondered if other people have split personas inside there mind and if yes what kind are they and which is the dominant one...or are they in balance?
So...what`s the essence of this rant? Well I think these lyrics give you a clue(and "Here" is life): When we first came here,
We were cold and we were clear,
With no colours on our skin,
We were light and paper-thin.

My medicine...

Medication...it`s always a good idea... And no...I`m not talking about drugs...or maybe i am...but there are more kinds of drugs then we can imagine...ever...
There are addictive drugs, there are non-addictive drugs and there are drugs that change their properties...
I fear and love all drugs and addictions...but then again...we all should...
My favorite drug(beside coffee) are my friends...It`s a drug we all should take at least once a week and in some cases as often as we need...
Friendship is the only drug we all should be addicted to...It`s properties are good for the mind and body and for the spirit...
They help us in the worst of situations and have fun with us, they mock us when we do stupid things, they give us advice when we need it(and sometime when they think we do)...
It the right concentration this drug does wonders for you...it`s the ultimate medicine...
I`m very proud of my prescription drugs and i take them with pride and joy...
I love me medicine...
Thank the Higgs-Boson particle there are drugs(i.e.Friends ).