Cosmic Love and Rabbit Heart...

Now if I really think of it...I have never been in love with someone...or if i had been i`ve been with the wrong person...but is there a wrong person to be in love with? Well...most likely YES!!! Not that there is something wrong with being in love but the thing that makes it bad...or not quite bad but really really unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe(in your terms wrong) is if that love is just in your heart and mind... Yes...falling for the wrong person...or just falling for that person at a bad time(bad timing is olso bad )...or just liking someone like a 5th grade dumb little girl can make you feel Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe(WRONG!!! or just plain stupid)...or the best way to say it is : ORDINARY...that is just wrong...you feel like you have fallen in this bad state of mind(
"The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
 In the shadow of your heart" as Florance and the Machine brilliantly put it... ).
The thing is...I`ve been hurt by no love or by my stupidity, in bouth cases my fault...or is it? I know I should not think about this because other people have been hurt WAAAAAAAAAAAY more then i was or probably will be(hopefully), but IT still hurt and I still can feel some of the burns...even if they seem stupid in someone elses eyes they still sting or need a stitch or just a warm cup of coffee and a hug...
I don`t still have feelings for my past, I just have a memory of it...the whole experience until now sometimes hurts and leaves hopeless..."And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became".
But...then I think"I must become a lion hearted guy, ready for a fight"...
Because love is a gift and it comes with a price...That`s life you know...a constant battle... You MUST BE BRAVE and deal with it... I think that when we wore born we made a deal with Death: to do the best we can at finding our loved one...She is very good to us,She gives us all the time we need, we keep Her from doing Her job(to take us from this existence)... Sometimes She looses her patience, sometimes She just looks into the future(and sees no hope), sometimes She is just bored...BUT sometimes WE don`t keep our end of the deal and waste our Time here...that makes Her angry and punishes us...by making us lonely...
Well...maybe I`m wrong about that(I hope)...
"The looking glass so shiny and new
How quickly the glamor fades
I start spinning slipping out of time
Was that the wrong pill to take (Raise it up)
You made a deal and now it seems you have to offer up
 But will it ever be enough?"

The Point of this rant: It`s ok to feel "trapped in the darkness of your soul" but at the same time WE MUST remember to be brave and keep our lion heart open to hope... So...Dark and twisty or bright and shiny? Why not both?

Hello, Words, Carry on my wayword son...

Words...it's how we communicate... They make up our language... They make up sentenses... They make sense...
But what happens when words stop making sense? Do we louse our sense? Or we just louse our communications skills? We can communicate non-verbaly but only for simple tasks...
Do the words we think and say change who we are? Or do they just change the perception  people get from us?
Is it possible for people to even change? When we think we changed is it just a perception of ours? That would mean our self-awareness is the one that changes... But that still implies a change in our patterns...
So...what changes?
When we say to someone that they have changed...is it them? Or is it the dynamics of our relationship? In that case...it still our perception of them... Should we even believe that people can change then?
Why should we not? Our life is full of change... Of course...not all change is in our benefit... But should we dislike change for that? Should we embrace change?
I can only say change is in our blood... Blood is keeping us alive...so...trust your blood...
Any good doctor would say...never trust your blood...it may be wrong...
But... What should we do when people change and we cling to the idea that it's gonna be ok? Should their change change us? Or should we just hope that the change won't be that bad as we think?
 So should we just carry on regardless of any change? Or should we take some time to understand what is happening? I for one never have a good grip on reality... Because let's face IT reality may suck...and not in the good way...
Yes...you may argue that we should embrace reality...we live in it for fuck sake...but did anything good ever came from reality? I think not...but who am I to say that? Well just a speck of dirt in all the cosmos... Still I am aware of myself...I have opinions...i have doubts...I have fears...should that count for something? I don't know... But I am sure that we should fine some sense in existing... But what is that? Wayyyyy toooo many questions I say...
So...back to change... Do we get over the fact that our friends and loved one change and should this change our relationship with them?
You tell me... Because sometimes change makes us feel so alone...but change can make us feel a part of something...
Good? Bad? Change is the dynamic of our universe...or is it a circle? We have not found out yet...
What we know might be enough...
PS: The songs in the title are: Hello-Karmin , Words-Kate Miller-Heidke and Carry on my wayword son-Kansas. You should listen to them while or after you read...